Thursday, December 31, 2009

Don't be stingy, baby

All the torrents everywhere for boondock saints 2 are fake!
I really want to see that film.

In nomini Patri, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are...

I just watched that Quentin Crisp film with John Hurt...really really really good.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

...Waiting for Dakota Fanning to turn 18...

So everyone is doing those "best of '09 blogs" so i suppose i will soon, after Xmas though, i have a lot to say, it will be fun nostalgising...if that's a word...the computer says it isn't, Shit i don't care it spells colour "color". IDIOTS!

Yesterday i decided to change art styles, from silly boring realism to something a lot more....insane. I attribute this to listening to James Coogan's band for an extended period of time, i hear they're shit live but the recorded tracks are probably my favourite bit of local music this year.

Oh look...a blimp!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Spectrum, 14th Century

I love this:

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Looking at stars in total confusion...

I wish i had living grandparents.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

You know who i'm talking about...

Shes swallowed more semen than the entire cast of High School Musical.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.

I've been reading about G.K. Chesterton lately. Interesting guy. We both share terrible memory and clumsiness as kids. I'm still clumsy but i hide it by pretending to intend to be clumsy, a lot of the time it doesn't work.

But anyhow, i had a blood test yesterday and my white blood cell count is at a healthy level, CELEBRATIONS!

I was at podge's house yesterday and i learned a good bit about playing blues piano, we may start a band some time in the future, i didn't really like blues until yesterday.

Oh, on Thursday i went to my creative writing class at the writers centre. I was a bit nervous because i submitted a story to the class last week, i suspected it would be acutely criticized and i wouldn't be able to show my face in that class again.
But, i was pleasantly surprised to find out EVERYBODY loved it.
Awesome favourite review was "I loved how nothing actually happens"

Also, Tegan and Sara's new album "Sainthood" is amazing. Buy it!
first two songs are the best.

Guten Tag.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Mail me...

Ages ago, i had a yahoo email address but i kept getting spam so i abandoned it.
I moved to hotmail and never got spam, however, in the last week iv got 5 spam emails.
i attribute this to giving urban outfitters my email address last week, i should have given them a fake address.

Here's an example of the spam i get:

Susan Van Der Merwe, Ms.
Deputy Minister of International Relations and Cooperation.

Dear Sir/Ma, After due deliberation with my children, I decided to contact you for your assistance in standing as a beneficiary to the sum of US$3.5M ( Three Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) First, let me start by introducing myself, I am Susan van der Merwe, Ms. a mother of three children and Deputy Minister of International Relations and Cooperation. under the President of South Africa Mr.Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma,Mr. Please view my profile.
After the swearing in ceremony making me the Deputy Minister of International Relations and Cooperation in 11th of May 2009, my husband died while he was on an official trip to Trinidad and Tobago in 2009. After his death, I discovered that he had some funds in a dollar account which mounted to the sum of US$3.5M with a Financial Institute abroad.

This fund emanated as a result of an over-invoiced contract which he executed with the Government of South Africa. Though I assisted him in getting this contract but I never knew that it was over-invoiced by him. I am afraid that the government of South Africa might start to investigate on contracts awarded from year 2004 to date. If they discover this money in his bank account, they will confiscate it and seize his assets here in South Africa and this will definitely affect my political career in government,I need your assistance in clearing this money from the Financial Institute.As soon as the fund is cleared, you are expected to move it immediately into another personal bank account in your country.I will see to it that the account is not traced from South Africa. As soon as you have confirmed the fund into your account, I will send my eldest son with my Attorney to come to your country to discuss on business investments.

For your assistance, I am offering you (Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) However, you have to assure me and also be ready to go into agreement with me that you will not elope with my fund,If you agree to my terms, kindly as a matter of urgency send me an email.Due to my sensitive position in the South African Government, I would not WANT you to call me on phone or send a fax to me. All correspondence must be by email to my private email,If you want to speak with my Attorney, that is fine and okay by me. His chambers will be representing my interest with you. All correspondence must be made to my Attorney, I will also like you to send me the following information below: To enable my Attorney call or reach you from time to time,(1) Your full name(2)Your telephone and fax numbers(3)Your contact address AND Your Occupation....I PRAY THAT U WILL TREAT AS URGENT RESPONSE.................

Fucking Christ!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Now its worse than it ever was

My nuetrophil count is still low.
Last test came up with 800 million per litre of blood...well that sounds like a lot, however normal nuetrophil levels are from 3 to 7 billion per litre of blood.
So i have to watch myself, no soft cheeses, salads or unpeeled fruit...for some reason.

Apparently smoking increases the nuetrophil count, so i have an excuse to chain smoke now.

If someone sneezes on me i might die, how reassuring.

wash your hands people!


Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I got out of hospital a few days ago, i was only in a week but it seemed like forever. i got reaquainted with my childhood friend television though, watching ben 10 all day.
every time i have been in hospital bar this time i hadnt been myself, rather psychotic in fact, so time always seemed to fly right by. However this time i was sane so the week i was in seemed like a year.
Anyway the reason i was in hospital was because my medicine lowered my white blood cell count to a dangerously low level, which left me prone to infection. I would have thought hospital would have been the worst place for me in that condition due all the infections around there. The day i left there was an outbreak of c.diff so i think thats why they kicked me out, i was glad to go.
Now im on a new medication which is alright.
Should i get the swine flu vaccine, i dunno?

Sunday, October 4, 2009

curious sickness

I was feeling perfectly fine this morning however at about 2pm i went outside for a smoke, walked down to the end of the veggie garden sat down and in the next few seconds i forgot where i was, i forgot everything about myself, i wondered who and where i was, i got a massive headrush and walked back to the house.
While i was walking, i suddenly got really tired and everything started to go black. 30 seconds later i was really cold, had a wicked bad headache and aches all over my body.
I felt the same for most of the day until i had a painkiller.

what the fuck happened? did i have a stroke? my nurse has been worried about my blood pressure and heart rate.

I feel fine now...i dont understand.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Do you know the times?

A while ago i was told to listen to Emilie Autumn. So, i downloaded one of her albums, it was called "Opheliac" which immediately put me off, because of it sounding like some 14 year old girls myspace name.
So i never went near it when listening to music, however in the last few days i started listening to it and its not that bad, its a bit cheesy at times but altogether its a good album.

Swallow - awesome song.

I start my course in creative writing next week, I'm rather excited, i haven't done anything like this since school, in my excitement i bought Ted Hughes collected poems even though i have it on ebook.

I'm currently reading Jack Kerouac's "On The Road" - so far its an amazing book, I'm half way through. It makes me wanna tour America in an old Chevy.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Let the babies cry

It was my cousins wedding today, I'm still a bit tipsy, strange because i didn't have much to drink, empty stomach chaps.
My dad and i were starving so we went to McDonald's - bad move! I'm not fond of McDonald's but the one in Ashbourne is just ridiculous, full of fat people who use the word "wah" 5 times in each sentence.... never again.

For the first time since before i got into hospital (this time around), I felt a desire to write, I wanna keep this going but I'm so fucking tired, I'll read for a few hours then go to bed and hopefully this motivation I'm feeling will be there when i wake up.

I hate the fact that i can never stay up into the night these days, i hate my medication solely for the fact that it sedates me into some kind of zombie on roofies - "I crave rape and sleep".

All my plans for this week have gone down the drain, planned on getting canvas, didn't happen, Its probably cos my mum wasn't here, she gets me off my arse.

This week, though, I thought about going around town, sleeping in other peoples houses and busking for money with my viola, just a dream though.

This week, i have to finish those paintings and go swimming with my dad, hopefully go to the cinema too.
I miss martin, hes a cool guy, haven't been in touch with him since Cian left, also i miss Cian, he probably wont be happy that i brought martin up before i mentioned him but he doesn't blog so I'm safe.

I'm loving Amy's blogs these days, HEYA HONEY!!

Until the next time i feel like writing, guten tag.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Where is my motivation???

these days i haven't had much desire to do anything, i need inspiration.

All i have planned this week is buy brushes and canvas in town, maybe visit the writers centre, jam with Fil and Laurence and go to my cousins wedding on Saturday.

I need to take photos of friends and shit and draw them, i want at least a modest portfolio.

I have already ruined 2 perfectly good canvases trying to paint Martin Luther King. Poop!

Hiya Amy!!


Thursday, August 6, 2009

When the wind blows south

I'm finally out of hospital.
Today i went to see Bruno with eoin, twas a bit filthy, i fear sascha baron cohen is veering towards dirty jokes too much, he just wants to shock everyone into laughter.
True comedy is dead.

I saw a rather attractive girl there at the cinema and i wanted to go up to her and be all:
"hi, i hope you dont mind but my friend and i were admiring you, i thought you looked like zooey deschanel, but he thought you looked more like sandra bullock, frankly i think sandra bullock is a dog and you're way better looking than her, did i see you on the cover of vogue?"
however im not that spontaneous and i only admired her from a distance.

When i relapse my sex drive goes mad, i wanna fuck everything that moves, this was one of those occasions, maybe she wasnt even that attractive and my mind was just playing tricks on me, i dont care that much i love the feeling.
I was watching "stephen fry: the secret life of a manic depressive" the other day and i found the people he interviewed were very like me, i sometimes wonder if i have been diagnosed correctly.

My phone is acting up so i cant make or receive calls, which is shit, gonna buy a new one on saturday. Maybe some clothes too.

right now im loving craig template;
its a bit of a guilty pleasure.

Tomorrow I'm getting my medication off my community nurse in navan then i'll go hang around "the shock" with laurence for a while then its jills birthday party, and screw her im not getting her a pressie, she didnt visit me in hospital so she can fuck off, im gonna go and tell everyone how much of a cunt they are.

It'll be a good day tomorrow.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

North by North-west 2

my mind is a fucking mess, i cant think straight at all, and i hate my new medicine. some day i'll buy a ak-47 and blow everyone away with it.

In the lighter side of things i got a lot of time to write, play and draw. so expect major announcements from me in the next couple of months. i might write a screenplay featuring me and laurence in hilarious misadventures. thats for another day though.

i hate this hospital, it has a shy sterility to it which makes it seem very unfriendly, like its better than you. well it can fuck off, i know im awesome and im gonna show this hospital what a half-caste protestant schizo can do.


Thursday, June 25, 2009

North by Northwest

I'm in hospital again. Shitbuzz.

Monday, June 15, 2009


I've gained half a stone in 2 weeks, I'm buffing up.
Go Olanzapine!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

I saw death rising from the earth, from the ground itself, in one blue field.

With all the shit that has happened to me in my short life I'd kind of expect myself to be a weird antisocial suicidal freak job, but I'm an optimistic guy.
Ok, i know i haven't had the worst life in the world, but compared to the people i know I've had a pretty shit time these last 2 years.
I get up in the morning without flinching at the first pang of nausea, i laugh, i joke, i try my best to have a good time. I'm not saying I'm brave just that I may be too stupid to realise the gravity of the situation.
I asked my dad today if my outlook was appropriate for my situation and he replied "its probably not expected to have a positive demeanor in your case, but i think its definitely appropriate because if you didn't you wouldn't have the strength to get healthy again, having a positive attitude is half the battle."
I found those words to be very reassuring and i realised i have to stop ignoring my posi attitude and cherish it, otherwise I'm as good as dead.

As i write this I'm enthused to write a few words about my dad. He's getting rather old now, 70 last year, i sometimes wonder what I'll do when he's gone. He has been such an incredible influence on me, i remember when i was really really young, probably only 2, he bought me a tricycle and i was scared of it so he got on it to show me i shouldn't be afraid and he broke the seat, i laughed my little head off and wasn't scared of something that could be broken so easily, i rode it all the time after that even though it was broken.
The dude is pretty much retired now except for a few piano lessons here and there but hes still going, he gets taught piano too by this rich chap with one eye who lives in ballsbridge.
He taught me piano too, I'll always remember him saying "Chopin taught so and so and so and so taught so and so etc... and so and so taught me, so in a way Chopin taught me, and i taught you so Chopin taught you."
Anyway that's it, i love the chap and i should say it more often to him.

On Friday, Martin and I met in town and went to see final fantasy. Tickets were sold out so we couldn't get any so we had to sneak in. It just so happens that i work in Whelans sometimes so it was easy as pie, sorta.
Anyway the show was fantastic, one of the best iv ever been to, he played everything i wanted him to, I'd love to see him again. Anyone who has never heard of final fantasy i recommend you to get into it now!

So I've thrown up everyday since Friday and i cant really do much so I'm living on the internet and enjoying the far too hot sun. I wanna be better and go on holiday.
This blog took ages, I'm gonna have a sandwich now.

I've just remembered Ruiner are playing today, shit.


Thursday, May 14, 2009


Luke 13:24

Strive to enter through the narrow door.
For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Women and Children First

Bane was goooood, as were Glauce's vegan cupcakes, I'm glad i went.
After feeling really dodgy and sick earlier this week, I'm back to normal, at least i hope so, i have a feeling it will return. I was so bummed i was sick when health were playing, really wanted to see wounds play but i gave that night to Laurence cos he needed the money but hey I'm working tonight, i dunno who's playing, i should check actually, hold up....hmmm, someone called Grainne Duffy, i dunno, could be alright.
i aim to get drunk tonight and then get a taxi to Stillorgan and crash.
Thalidomide's are playing tomorrow, should be alright, except its in the tap, kinda dodge, never been there, it might be alright.

Iv been drawing a bit lately, actually iv been thinking of setting up a myspace for my art, i know i wanted to set up a deviant art ages ago but i might do both this time, i have to draw lots cos iv ruined my other drawings i did previously by trying to paint them and i suck at painting.

In other news, my dole got cut off for some reason, i went into the post office with Mark on Thursday and they said there was no money there, maybe my disability is about to kick in, i hope so.

Oh and i have a new doctor which im pretty happy about cos the last one was shit, maybe i just hate paki's.


Soundtrack for the day - Bostons - Have Heart

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Little one, I've made you sleep
Help me get back home
dark shapes and seraphim's,
help me get back where I belong,
Do you think I'm crazy?
I just see the world through crystal eyes.

Stop looking at me like that,
your eyes tease me,
starlight, the moon's out,
I thought I saw a little white thing,
Do you think I'm crazy?
I just see the world through crystal eyes.

I'll see you one last time.

Monday, April 13, 2009


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

This looks amazing!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

He is shaking and dancing in her bat mouth

things have been pretty great lately. yesterday was larrys leaving party. i met him and nat in town and after food we went shopping aviators. The hare krishnas were out in force on saturday dancing and singing in temple bar and grafton street, merry bunch of bastards.
so we went back to larrys gaf and had some chinese, got our booze and settled in for the night. people started arriving at about 8 and by 2am i was pretty drunk, curiously i got really tired around then and decided to hit the hay but when i was getting into bed i had the urge to strip down to my boxers and dance around the i did. fun, i ended up staying up for another few hours after that.
today when i got back from larrys, my brother and i thought it would be cool to enjoy the sunshine with a nice hookah pipe. it was really good. then we watched falling down, epic film.
i dunno what im gonna do this week, but i did manage to get a night of work in whelans for when health and wounds are playing so i get to listen to some bangin choons and i get paid for it, oh yes!
im having the best cup of tea right now, i hope everyone reading this is in as good a mood as i am.

laters gaters.

Soundtrack for the day - Bats Mouth - Bat for Lashes

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

sigmund got my back...

i have a recurring dream where my teeth fall out... anxious.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Im starting to think i dont exist...

Damn genetics.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Under Milk Wood

So im 21 today, the celebrations were held on friday.
It all started with me heading out to Laurence's on friday morning, for some reason i was feeling really jumpy and restless (not the good kind) so much so i threw up out of excitement, weird. anyway after that i was starving, so Laurence and I went to tesco and got loadsa foods! When we got home we made awesome stir fry with couscous, noodles and rice, i felt a lot better after that.
Everyone said it was exquisite. I love the fact that all of laurences house mates are so supportive about me cooking vegan food, they're all meat eaters yet they love it when i cook even though they know theyre not getting meat.
Anyway, eventually we went into town and met cian in temple bar, marcello had tattooed a 13 on his finger for €13 in fact cos it was friday the 13th. Next, we went to karma to meet mark and mig and had a good long talk with mark about whos hotter zooey deschanel or katy perry.
About 9.30 we headed off to fibbers and later met everyone else, i got a jigsaw puzzle from the richies and a cool embroidered teapot from amy which i would take a picture of and upload it but i dont have a good camera (i break everything).
Got loadsa cards from everyone it was a great night, thanks to everyone who made it out.

Tomorrow im going to see watchmen again with cian, amy, eoin and gar. should be good...again. Then im going to dinner with the parents at the cedar tree.
Im gonna make tea now.

Soundtrack for the day - Suicide Season - Bring Me The Horizon

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Yage Letters...

I havnt really been doing much recently, i really cant, i tried painting and that turned out horrible, i tried writing and i couldnt think of anything. I tried reading and that didnt work out, probably because i think that book laurence gave me (the raw shark texts) is shit. But i got some william burroughs to read so ill give that a go.

On the positive side of things iv finished reading allen ginsbergs poems, its really good, im gonna give it to cian see what he thinks.

Also, tomorrow im gonna go into town and give out some cv's to places, some bar work might suit me, doesnt really matter if i dont get it, ill be on disability allowance soon anyway. But all the same i need to get out more and a job would really help me get back to reality.

So in other news, me, podge and paul went out camping last saturday, it was pretty good, i got really cold though. paul can be a fucking twat sometimes, he really is an absolute idiot in some ways, i owe him money, i might not give it back for ages to punish him for being such a retard.

Its my birthday on the 16th, the day before paddys day. Im thinking fibbers on the 13th, metal karaoke!!! sweet. Anyone who reads this is welcome to come and buy me a drink.

So im just gonna try and write as much as i can these next few days and then going to see watchmen on saturday with cian and then its vegan johns birthday party that night, bangin!

Now im going to make a sweet lil stir fry for myself.

Soundtrack for the day - Werewolf - CocoRosie

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I sold my soul to the open road

I was in the basin club last week as usual, having a smoke outside and this elderly guy called Tom (hes actually the best, always making jokes and pulling pranks) says to me, "i never really noticed before, but you're the spitting image of our Lord"
of course i burst into laughter and eventually thank him for such a blasphemous compliment. I go inside and sit down with everyone, tom comes in, gets everyone attention and says "Isn't Andrew the spitting image of Christ?"
everyone being such a dumb piece of shit there just nods obediently and says yeah like the drones they are, nobody laughed, pity.

After this i went to larrys house but didnt stay long and went home, however i went back the day after. I dont really remember what we did, we swapped books, i gave him the catcher in the rye and he gave me the raw shark texts, which i have to say im finding rather childishly written, but it may change, we'll see.
Anne marie came over anyway, she was spending valentines weekend over there, MY BROS GONNA GET SOME!!!
So we had a few cans, played a bitta halo, watched the breakfast club (amazing film), and then went to sleep. At like 4 in the morning i hear these shouts from outside, the door opens and 2 dark silhouettes come into the room.

"CHOCOLATE LOVE!!!" i hear from one of them.
"COFFEE BLACK!!!" from the other

yeah its mark and mig.
wankers, waking me up like that.

Saturday was valentines day, im not big on valentines day. sometimes i do something, mostly not though. this year i wasnt doing anything special. But my dad invited me to his freemasons dinner that was on.
The company is alright, food is good and im looking to join so i take him up on it.
Then i wonder if amy is working that night. So i text her and yes she is.
It was very funny, amy serving me stuff all night, "top up your drink sir?"

In other news, im getting my disability allowance soon. I talked to my social worker and he gave me all the forms to fill out and i have to go see him on wednesday morning and he'll set me up with some $$$ from the community welfare officer.
The first thing im buying is a ticket to a day to remember, homesick is the best thing iv heard in months.

Soundtrack for the day - The Downfall of us All - A Day To Remember

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Needle In My Mind

I’m in trouble again.
It seems every year
It happens

Everywhere a maze, Everyone a Sphinx
I am learning restitution
Drowning in seas of iron

These are my eyes,
Dull purple, like
Those clouds that cover us

Like the day
I finally woke into a dream.
I terrify myself.

This face, the eye pits, the crooked set of teeth
The unique imperfections of my face
Will one day fade

And I will be secure
At peace

And at home.

And I am just a man.
And I am only young.
And I am a broken winged bird.

And I’ve made a deal with the devil
I’m only ill if I take the pills.
The devil doesn’t mind.

Nevertheless, I am the same, identical boy.
Driven by fears.

Guided by fate.

I spill blood

On pictures of friends,
I touch it and I write miracles.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

My Uncle Designed The Anal Staircase

i got up well late today, 11, which is disastrous, iv been getting up around 8 everyday this week which is great, lots of time to do things.
iv decided im only gonna post my shit poems on this blog, all the good ones are going straight to competitions. So that last blog is pretty shit, its ok, but a bit gay.

Eoin came back last week and we went hanging in town on Tuesday, i met him outside the basin club and we went walking around the basin and around the royal canal park, that was nice but it was freezing and snowing. Eoin misses beijing already, i think its just cos dunshaughlin is so shit. i told him about the origin of xiao xin in chinese, generally it means "caution" but literally it means "small heart", well ill tell ya, it comes from a 15th century proverb about fathers telling their sons who are being married off for money not to get emotionally involved with their wives, who could die at any time. i got it from the saosin wikipedia page. Needless to say eoin was very impressed and wanted to tell his whole class.
Then we went to the hugh lane gallery which i found really boring except for francis bacons studio which was really messy. when we went to the toilets in there i couldnt use the taps, we later found out they were automatic so you just had to put your hands under the tap and hey presto you got water, how foolish of us.
So then we tried to find the writers museum but couldnt so we went to get burritos, delish, taco taco is awesome, theres no denying this.

Iv been loving boards of canada again lately, geogaddi is definitely one of the best albums iv ever listened to. it almost has a spiritual feel to it, fucking trippy too.
also everyone should listen to no bra's song munchausen, its hilarious.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist today and hopefully hes gonna reduce my medication, im really sick of taking so much so i really hope it'll happen this time.
Last time he listed all the crazy things iv done to highlight how much better i am, from feeling fucked up in laurences house and thinking i was talking to god outside to that time i locked my parents out of the house cos i thought they were possessed. That was very embarrassing.

Soundtrack for the day - All of Geogaddi - Boards of Canada

Friday, January 30, 2009

You are one of the most amazing people i have ever met

I sit here waiting patiently at home
My body icy from bare winters
Reciting tales and epics all alone

I read your movements like I read a stone
Ordinary, mysterious
I sit here waiting patiently at home

An army, all on our own

We can call each other brother
Reciting tales and epics all alone

Of my memory, I will write in an endless tome
Feeling tickled by your laughs
I sit here waiting patiently at home

I know you now, how you have grown
Respect, admiration, esteem
Reciting tales and epics all alone

Running through yellow hair with your comb
My body snug from petty chatter
I sit here waiting patiently at home
Reciting tales and epics all alone

Saturday, January 17, 2009

This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper.

i was browsing just a second ago and in its recommendations for me was Enya's 'and winter came'...
what the hell? how the damn did that come up, when have i ever bought something even remotely similar to enya.
has my mum been using my account, i dunno.

i sent off that poem to that competition, fingers crossed. im writing a villanelle at the minute and its really hard, the thing with villanelles is you have to pick a word at the beginning to rhyme with all the way through and i picked a really bad word - birth. i can think of like 8 other words that rhyme with birth and none of them seem to correspond to the poems feelings, i might just convert it into a regular open poem if its too hard.

thats all for today.

Soundtrack for the day - Promises Kept - Champion

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The leading man can't go on he's drunk as a bastard!

i suddenly realised i forgot about my blog, its about time i updated it.
So of late iv been feeling pretty good. iv been writing a lot, i really wanna post some poems here but im entering a few competitions and if they find the poem on the internet its automatically disqualified. probably wont win though, theyre all international competitions so some ivy league phony will enter and win, thats another thing, i just read the catcher in the rye again and i keep talking like holden caulfield since iv read it, lousy goddam flits. but anyway i hope i win, i could really use the money and i dont really wanna get a job.
Perhaps i could just live off poetry and short story competitions for the rest of my life.

The other day i was chilling in the basin club reading allen ginsberg, the guys a scary bastard. cian would like him, full of homoerotic imagery.
anyway i was there reading and the guys were talking about conspiracy theories and shit, all of a sudden vril walks in the door. Im sitting there completely nonplussed, i didnt even know she was in the country. so we have our hugs and talk for ages and it was really nice, havnt talked like that in ages, where you have something to say all the time, like you say something and halfway through saying that you think of something else to say and so on.
by the way, vril isnt her real name, its avril, its just a private joke we have with each other.

So tomorow im going into town to go to the basin club for my induction, dont really know whats gonna be happening there but after ill probably be heading to laurences gaf, chillax there for the night. i also need to get an eraser, everytime i go into town i always intend to get one but always forget so this time im definitely going to get one.

no links this time, oh well.

Soundtrack for the day - ghost man on third - taking back sunday