Sunday, May 31, 2009

I saw death rising from the earth, from the ground itself, in one blue field.

With all the shit that has happened to me in my short life I'd kind of expect myself to be a weird antisocial suicidal freak job, but I'm an optimistic guy.
Ok, i know i haven't had the worst life in the world, but compared to the people i know I've had a pretty shit time these last 2 years.
I get up in the morning without flinching at the first pang of nausea, i laugh, i joke, i try my best to have a good time. I'm not saying I'm brave just that I may be too stupid to realise the gravity of the situation.
I asked my dad today if my outlook was appropriate for my situation and he replied "its probably not expected to have a positive demeanor in your case, but i think its definitely appropriate because if you didn't you wouldn't have the strength to get healthy again, having a positive attitude is half the battle."
I found those words to be very reassuring and i realised i have to stop ignoring my posi attitude and cherish it, otherwise I'm as good as dead.

As i write this I'm enthused to write a few words about my dad. He's getting rather old now, 70 last year, i sometimes wonder what I'll do when he's gone. He has been such an incredible influence on me, i remember when i was really really young, probably only 2, he bought me a tricycle and i was scared of it so he got on it to show me i shouldn't be afraid and he broke the seat, i laughed my little head off and wasn't scared of something that could be broken so easily, i rode it all the time after that even though it was broken.
The dude is pretty much retired now except for a few piano lessons here and there but hes still going, he gets taught piano too by this rich chap with one eye who lives in ballsbridge.
He taught me piano too, I'll always remember him saying "Chopin taught so and so and so and so taught so and so etc... and so and so taught me, so in a way Chopin taught me, and i taught you so Chopin taught you."
Anyway that's it, i love the chap and i should say it more often to him.

On Friday, Martin and I met in town and went to see final fantasy. Tickets were sold out so we couldn't get any so we had to sneak in. It just so happens that i work in Whelans sometimes so it was easy as pie, sorta.
Anyway the show was fantastic, one of the best iv ever been to, he played everything i wanted him to, I'd love to see him again. Anyone who has never heard of final fantasy i recommend you to get into it now!

So I've thrown up everyday since Friday and i cant really do much so I'm living on the internet and enjoying the far too hot sun. I wanna be better and go on holiday.
This blog took ages, I'm gonna have a sandwich now.

I've just remembered Ruiner are playing today, shit.


Thursday, May 14, 2009


Luke 13:24

Strive to enter through the narrow door.
For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able.