I saw death rising from the earth, from the ground itself, in one blue field.

With all the shit that has happened to me in my short life I'd kind of expect myself to be a weird antisocial suicidal freak job, but I'm an optimistic guy.
Ok, i know i haven't had the worst life in the world, but compared to the people i know I've had a pretty shit time these last 2 years.
I get up in the morning without flinching at the first pang of nausea, i laugh, i joke, i try my best to have a good time. I'm not saying I'm brave just that I may be too stupid to realise the gravity of the situation.
I asked my dad today if my outlook was appropriate for my situation and he replied "its probably not expected to have a positive demeanor in your case, but i think its definitely appropriate because if you didn't you wouldn't have the strength to get healthy again, having a positive attitude is half the battle."
I found those words to be very reassuring and i realised i have to stop ignoring my posi attitude and cherish it, otherwise I'm as good as dead.

As i write this I'm enthused to write a few words about my dad. He's getting rather old now, 70 last year, i sometimes wonder what I'll do when he's gone. He has been such an incredible influence on me, i remember when i was really really young, probably only 2, he bought me a tricycle and i was scared of it so he got on it to show me i shouldn't be afraid and he broke the seat, i laughed my little head off and wasn't scared of something that could be broken so easily, i rode it all the time after that even though it was broken.
The dude is pretty much retired now except for a few piano lessons here and there but hes still going, he gets taught piano too by this rich chap with one eye who lives in ballsbridge.
He taught me piano too, I'll always remember him saying "Chopin taught so and so and so and so taught so and so etc... and so and so taught me, so in a way Chopin taught me, and i taught you so Chopin taught you."
Anyway that's it, i love the chap and i should say it more often to him.

On Friday, Martin and I met in town and went to see final fantasy. Tickets were sold out so we couldn't get any so we had to sneak in. It just so happens that i work in Whelans sometimes so it was easy as pie, sorta.
Anyway the show was fantastic, one of the best iv ever been to, he played everything i wanted him to, I'd love to see him again. Anyone who has never heard of final fantasy i recommend you to get into it now!

So I've thrown up everyday since Friday and i cant really do much so I'm living on the internet and enjoying the far too hot sun. I wanna be better and go on holiday.
This blog took ages, I'm gonna have a sandwich now.

I've just remembered Ruiner are playing today, shit.

Laters.

Nausea

Luke 13:24

Strive to enter through the narrow door.
For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able.(ESV)

Women and Children First

Bane was goooood, as were Glauce's vegan cupcakes, I'm glad i went.
After feeling really dodgy and sick earlier this week, I'm back to normal, at least i hope so, i have a feeling it will return. I was so bummed i was sick when health were playing, really wanted to see wounds play but i gave that night to Laurence cos he needed the money but hey I'm working tonight, i dunno who's playing, i should check actually, hold up....hmmm, someone called Grainne Duffy, i dunno, could be alright.
i aim to get drunk tonight and then get a taxi to Stillorgan and crash.
Thalidomide's are playing tomorrow, should be alright, except its in the tap, kinda dodge, never been there, it might be alright.

Iv been drawing a bit lately, actually iv been thinking of setting up a myspace for my art, i know i wanted to set up a deviant art ages ago but i might do both this time, i have to draw lots cos iv ruined my other drawings i did previously by trying to paint them and i suck at painting.

In other news, my dole got cut off for some reason, i went into the post office with Mark on Thursday and they said there was no money there, maybe my disability is about to kick in, i hope so.

Oh and i have a new doctor which im pretty happy about cos the last one was shit, maybe i just hate paki's.

Laters

Soundtrack for the day - Bostons - Have Heart

Epilogue

Little one, I've made you sleep
Help me get back home
dark shapes and seraphim's,
help me get back where I belong,
Do you think I'm crazy?
maybe,
I just see the world through crystal eyes.

Stop looking at me like that,
your eyes tease me,
starlight, the moon's out,
I thought I saw a little white thing,
Do you think I'm crazy?
maybe,
I just see the world through crystal eyes.

I'll see you one last time.

NICE!

This looks amazing!

He is shaking and dancing in her bat mouth

things have been pretty great lately. yesterday was larrys leaving party. i met him and nat in town and after food we went shopping aviators. The hare krishnas were out in force on saturday dancing and singing in temple bar and grafton street, merry bunch of bastards.
so we went back to larrys gaf and had some chinese, got our booze and settled in for the night. people started arriving at about 8 and by 2am i was pretty drunk, curiously i got really tired around then and decided to hit the hay but when i was getting into bed i had the urge to strip down to my boxers and dance around the house...so i did. fun, i ended up staying up for another few hours after that.
today when i got back from larrys, my brother and i thought it would be cool to enjoy the sunshine with a nice hookah pipe. it was really good. then we watched falling down, epic film.
i dunno what im gonna do this week, but i did manage to get a night of work in whelans for when health and wounds are playing so i get to listen to some bangin choons and i get paid for it, oh yes!
im having the best cup of tea right now, i hope everyone reading this is in as good a mood as i am.

laters gaters.

Soundtrack for the day - Bats Mouth - Bat for Lashes