art

two of my favourite artists are wesley burt and gottfried helnwein, i think the wesley burt site is down at the minute but you can find images on google.
helnwein is a master of realism, thats obvious. Iv never seen such detail with just a brush. just look at his paintings, theyre unreal.
Burt is more subtle, mixing themes of fantasy and every day issues, the pencil drawings are the best, the oils not so much. heres a link to a video of his stuff.

im not feeling good today, probably because i havnt been doing anything worthwhile lately, i feel drained, empty and numb. Im not feeling the urge to paint or write these days, so i just stroll around the house chewing gum and wearing earplugs.
its irritating.

soundtrack for the day - Bike - Pink Floyd

the basin club

The basin club is actually nice, the people there are exceedingly odd but exceptionally nice.
i was talking to a few of them and theyve had some horrible lives but are doing well now with the club, i hope i turn out better than them.
The club offers classes in art, french and creative writing which sounds interesting, i think ill go again.
In other news im feeling better today....except im really cold. nothing else interesting happened today, medicine is pissing me off, thats about it.

p.s. where the fuck are my books?

soundtrack for the day - Lands end - Patrick Wolf

Doctors are idiots

yeah, so i just saw my psychiatrist and all he did was put up my medication, so now im on the strongest dose of this medication thats safe, anymore and i die or something.

My dad is really insistent i go to this basin club so i guess iv got no choice, theres one tomorrow so ill be at that.

soundtrack for the day - Gyroscope - Boards of Canada

sylvia plath syndrome

Iv noticed im way better at art when im fucked in the head, i was painting this portrait of a guy i got from deviantart or something and i did his eye so well, im really proud of it.
unfortunately i cant find the cable for the camera so theres no point in setting up a deviantart yet, ill have to wait until mid december when my bro comes home to set one up, he has a great camera (rich wanker).
I might apply for fine art again in january if i get a good portfolio together, screw themes this year, everyone i know who got into art college didnt have a theme for their portfolio.

I was on amazon t'other day buying books, i got sylvia plath's the bell jar and bukowski's ham on rye, one of my favourite books. im really looking forward to have something to read, havnt been reading anything new in about 2 weeks, harsh.

my dad came home with a loada shit from the lucia foundation today. He wants me to join the basin club or something, which is a club for schizo's only, which sounds shit, so im not gonna do it.
i dont wanna be in a room full of potential serial killers, fuckin ed gein fan club.

apparently the sleeping tablets im on are making me sleepwalk. my dad woke me up this morning and said i had gone into the kitchen and ate half a pack of cheese which is disastrous because im vegan. i think ill give the sleeping tablets a break for the time being.

soundtrack for the day - Lorelei - Comeback Kid

fucked up

the last week has been weird. I'm not feeling well according to the doctors, i know i dont feel normal but its not necessarily a bad thing. Well thats not entirely true; im not enjoying most of it...the voices are getting much louder and are commanding me, not nice, although yesterday one gave me abuse for smoking, i was rather happy about that.

the other day i saw angels in the sky, that was an amazing sight, they formed from the clouds and flew around for a while.
Also, when i went swimming with my dad on saturday we went into dunnes to get some wine and everything was super bright, the colours were all in your face, extra fucking vibrant and sparkly. It reminded me of the sky hd ad, i had a lot of fun with that, taking an orange from the bottom of the pile and watching them all tumble down like glow in the dark dominos, thats a good idea, glow in the dark dominos.

So yesterday i told my dad my theory of aliens controlling him and mum, he wasnt having any of it, he couldnt hold in his laughter, i was a bit hurt especially when he said "aliens dont exist "INSERT NAME HERE"".

I think iv quit college, well i havnt gone in a week and they say if my behaviour continues ill have to go to hospital again which im definetly not looking forward to. So ill probably have to quit college....again.
I really dont know what im gonna do, i cant leave the house and the tv is making strange comments about me ( no! i was not involved in the hijacking of the sirius star off the coast of somalia...unless... ).

In the meantime im just gonna draw and maybe upload some of them pics if theyre any good, maybe get a deviantart. here begins my glorious return to the internet.

Soundtrack of the day - Like O, Like H - Tegan and Sara